Is it just me or has anyone else grown rather tired of Pinterest? I don’t know if it’s that the images have gotten rather repetitive or predictable. Maybe it’s all the photos with their colors bumped up in post processing. Don’t find myself all that drawn to it lately. This is an odd occurrence since I’m a very visual person.
For example: didn’t do well in college chemistry because no one and I mean no one could show me a mole…the invisible, little furless beast upon which the whole understanding of the science rests. That aside, back to my post.
Is this just the frustration of an overly hot summer lingering a bit too long?
On the other hand, could it be that I’m turning into a hermit? It’s 1:15 p.m. on Friday once again, I’ve totally forgotten about my knitting group.
Did the divorce damage me that much that I need so much quiet time to heal? Or perhaps it’s the pain in the neck called my left knee that’s doing it.
Just read Steve’s Thursday post over at An Urban Cottage. He had a garage sale. For months he had been paring down, labeling and pricing everything…he got rid of all but 8 items. Is it that? I need to really focus on getting rid of some of the detritus that clogs my life (as I’ve mentioned before)? It seems to be a logical impediment to “moving on”, but moving on to where, what?
Everything I knew as my life is gone, is that why I feel incapable of parting with all the excess in my life? It’s likely that I will never use a lot of it again. In the background, my mind is playing a recording of my mother’s voice…”hang on to that, you never know when you’ll need it again”. It’s the Great Depression mindset. Given that this is the Second Great Depression, at least it seems that way to me, is that playing into this?
Stopped by Miss B.’s blog Besotted Brand where she was thinking outloud about being unorganized as in not having days worth of posts prepared in advance vs. writing it in the moment or “on the fly” to use her words. Is it that? I write a post when something strikes me, however insignificant it may be in the grand scheme of things. I figure if it stands out to me, it may be something of interest to others. At the very least it helps me try to clear a path through the forest of my life. There is no plan as to what subject I’ll post on any given day, say Wordless Wednesdays, etc., none whatsoever.
I do have a backlog of drafts that I either deemed unsuitable to publish or are missing an element I have yet to add to them which would (I can’t believe I’m using these words) “complete them”.
Of course, this leaves you, the reader, with days where nothing pops into my brain, which you’ve seen of late and so, no posts.
Is it a combination of the lack of organization, direction, purpose, goals and so on, that has me so crippled? Or is this something many people are feeling these days? I know I’ve spoken of the pressure caused by comparing yourself to others. But this goes beyond that into my actual life, not just my blog.
Then there’s the container garden that sits forlornly, awaiting my return. Which brings us back to the hot weather and my knee. When I go out for my weekly grocery runs, does the wasteland of deadness see that I try to avert my eyes so as not to feel the guilt? Is it the fact I haven’t opened the patio umbrella in two years? I’ve cut myself off from things it seems.
Something must be brewing in the universe because I’ve felt this sensation before. Usually happens just before a major life shift, sometimes even in the process before you know what hit. Kind of like liquefaction in an earthquake. The unstable sands, soil, shift. You loose your footing, your balance. Or am I just imagining this?
Yesterday, I did notice a young avocado hanging from the tree, way up high offering hope of a bountiful season, usually from November – March. There certainly were enough flowers this spring. Is it that I’m anxious to have the seasons change and feel something new?
Will I even be living here come December? Oh to be able to read the future.
Then on the other hand, if we knew the future, would we wish to continue this journey?
I leave you with this: