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I try not to talk about my health too much here since we all have problems but today just takes the cake or in this case the Conga. My day started out okay, I had a slice of Oroweat Jewish Rye with cold butter (yum) and a glass of V8. Seemed innocuous enough.

Well, it took on a life of its own. I’ve always had a spastic stomach and colon but it hasn’t bothered me for some time. Till this morning.

I spent the entire time (all morning and into the afternoon) less than ten feet from the bathroom. During this time, every cartoon and image of Conga lines I ever saw in my life popped into my head.

Yes, my stomach and intestines were doing a wild Conga gone horribly wrong. I didn’t dare step away from the bathroom. Even going to lay down was risky.

Conga4-wrong

Photo Source. Chaos ensues.

Sad thing is I’m now totally empty and starving even though I lay in bed all morning, moaning of an upset midsection. Colonoscopy anyone? I’m empty, it’d be the perfect time.

But I don’t dare eat a thing since I have no clue what set my bod off. It’s like having about 50 hands squeeze your stomach and intestines off and on, but all at different rates…kind of like the photo above. And they’re doing it horribly wrong to Conga music! I had planned to have chili for dinner but I wouldn’t dare now!! This hasn’t happened in quite some time.

I used to be a really “fun” date. A guy’d take me out to dinner and half way through it, my whole midsection would take on a life of its own and I’d be in the restroom for a half an hour or so. See? Real fun date. And it wasn’t like I was upset, it just seemed that anything out of the ordinary that caused me anxiety (good or bad) could do it and without any warning. I just learned that I’d better find the W.C. FAST.

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